Updated: Apr 28, 2020
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! Psalm 139:13-18
My sweet niece just had her first child. It was really quite a miracle. We never thought she would have a child. She has been sick her whole life and struggles with Lupus. Having a child was risky. But at about 3 o’clock this morning, she delivered her son, healthy and robust, into this world. It was really hard for her, the 40 weeks plus, she went past her due date, and the very long and painful labor and delivery. But she did it and I am sure she is in her hospital room making googly eyes at her beautiful son right at this moment.
When I saw the picture that was taken of me with my new great nephew, I couldn’t help remembering an old post from last year. Once again I am sporting quite a moon face. The treatment for the disease that is constantly threatening my eyes failed and I had to go on higher doses of prednisone. While I waited for new treatment to come, and to prayerfully start working, I am once again dealing with added side effects of higher doses of steroids.
The post was about my niece who is right at this moment cuddling her new son. Here it is from last year:
I have been on a steroid drug for a very long time that causes moon face and other changes. Let's just be clear. I hate taking that drug. It makes me feel horrible and it puts so many things at risk... but it gives me a kinship with my niece whom I adore... she was on high doses of this drug when she was a little girl for Accute Lymphocytic Leukemia. The meds she took had many, some permanent, side effects. But we still have her because God gave someone the intelligence to research and develop these drugs. So I am thankful. The drugs are wonderful and they are horrible.
And people can be wonderful and they can be horrible. When my niece was only SIX years old, a couple of TEENAGE mean girls beat her up on the bus because they didn't like how she looked. She was a very little girl, in a fight for her life and these girls couldn't see past her little moon face. People can be wonderful and people can be horrible.
My niece is wonderful and she will be a nurse soon... still with us, and no more Leukemia.
So when I see my moon face, I think of her. And I think of the horrible and wonderful meds that are slowing down immobility and destruction in my body and the theft of my vision; and I think of how these same meds are prolonging the years that I will be able to still see the faces of my husband, my children and grandchildren.
Very shortly after I posted the picture that inspired this post and told my wonderful husband that I could see prednisone in my face, my friend of 22 years, whom I have not seen since the late 90's, private messaged me and asked me if I was on prednisone and why... she's a nurse and was concerned about me. Then we chatted for a very long time... and the evening was topped off with this long-time, dear friend deciding it has been way too long since we were together... and planning a trip to Maine soon.
So take THAT, prednisone.
So tonight, I am looking at pictures of my new little nephew and his beautiful mother, and I worry less about what my face looks like. I am so in love with all the little faces in my life. I am grateful for this new little boy. I was in awe as I watched him trying to focus and looking around the room just moments after he emerged from the safety of his mother’s womb. And I have a new common bond with my niece. She is a mother of a son now. My first child was a boy too. My first pregnancy was not under the most ideal circumstances, but God held me through it and he held my son. He had plans for me and for my son. That son and I felt the call of God on our hearts to ministry the same summer. He was just turning 5 and I was 23. That little boy is a man of 30 now, living and serving in ministry in Nashville, TN. It’s not about the faithfulness and perfection of the one who is called. It is about the faithfulness, grace and love of the ONE who calls. It has been a wild ride for both of us, lots of ups and downs, falls and scrapes, but God is the one who is faithful. And my son is living right as I would hope that he would; in the knowledge that Jesus loves him, no matter what.
I believe every child, is born for a purpose that they will find and fulfill if only they seek out the God who made them. God knew this new little baby Simon before He knit him together in his mother’s womb. I am very excited to see what God has in store for him.
Jesus loves you, no matter what.
He has amazing things to show you.